Thursday, May 17, 2012

Earth's Doomiest Heroes

I just saw the documentary Such Hawks, Such Hounds after it was mentioned in a recent article on the AVClub; I described it on Facebook as "the Avengers of doom metal." In what may be my dorkiest moment ever, I've decided to run with that, partly because I'm still geeking out over how good the Avengers was, but mostly to prove there isn't a metaphor that I can't ride through the night until it collapses from exhaustion.

So here it is: The Avengers of Doom Metal, as seen in Such Hawks, Such Hounds:

Formed in 1971, Pentagram are the First Avengers of stoner doom - its Captain America.  Cap was trapped in a block of ice at the end of WWII before being unfrozen in the present day; likewise, Pentagram were sidelined for decades by singer Bobby Liebling's drug abuse, and their early recordings lost before Relapse resurrected them in the late 90's. Like Cap, Pentagram may seem like relics of a simpler time, but there's no denying their power.

Scott "Wino" Weinrich is Tony Stark - a genius innovator whose hardest battles were with his own addictions, and is constantly retooling and reinventing himself.  Be it with Saint Vitus, The Obsessed, Spirit Caravan, the Hidden Hand, Shrinebuilder or simply under his stage name, you know that Wino is going to swing through your town in a nifty new outfit and heavy boots of lead.  Both men share a love of Black Sabbath, though unlike Stark, Wino is remarkably humble and down to earth.

Kyuss are Thor, gods of thunder and low-end rumbling who crashlanded in the desert. The Vikings worshipped Thor for his strength and courage; Kyuss are worshipped by every stoner band trying to transcend the mediocrity of Nebula and Fu Manchu. 

Comets on Fire and Fatso Jetson are the Black Widow and Hawkeye of the doom metal Avengers... they may sound cool but are ultimately redundant in light of the other heavy hitters on the team, and are mostly around just to fill out the roster.

green is a good fit for you, Mr. Pike
And finally there's Sleep, the muscle of the SHSH Avengers.  Like Bruce Banner, they were three unassuming guys who created a monster they had no control over. Their epic swansong, Dopesmoker, was a misunderstood, gargantuan, and extremely green behemoth that caused shockwaves when it was unleashed on the world in an explosion of gamma radiation and bong hits.  Puny London Records tried to cut Dopesmoker down and make Sleep more commercial, but that just made Sleep angry! And now Sleep is the STRONGEST ONE THERE IS! RRRRAAAAARRRRGH!!!!